Fight\Zen

Last week I wrote that August was going to be the greatest month in MMA history. As is always the case with such grandiose statements (at least those made by me), shiz happens. But ain't nothing gonna' break my stride! Nobody gonna' slow me down! Oh no! I got to keep on moving!

So here are my imaginary predictions for the psuedo-imaginary main card fights (we'll still see some of them) that would have taken place at the now historic (also, now imaginary) Affliction: Trilogy event that should have been...

Main Card:






















Fedor doing calistenics.

Fedor Emlienenko (100000-1) vs. Josh Barnett (o-3 vs pee tests):
The fight that ended it all. The battle of the flabby midsections... nonetheless this should have been a great fight. But then, so should Fedor vs. Arlovski have been. There's no reason to believe that the Thrilla from Rubizhne wouldn't have steam rolled Barnett. Cycle or not, The Baby Faced Assasin only seems to be on top when either a) he is using the 'roids or b) isn't being tested for using the 'roids (see part a.). But who knows? Maybe Fedor might have had a bad day? Maybe all those ice creams would have caught up with him? Maybe... ah who am I kidding.
-Fedor by submission due to strikes, Rd 2

Renato "Babalu" Sobral (1-0 vs David Heath's swallow reflex) vs. Gegard Mousasi (undefeated when fighting in the US):
Babalu will forever be remembered for 2 things; the afore-alluded to mugging of David Heath and being Chuck Lidell's title run fodder. Truth is, he's a talented fighter and has been doing his best to remind people of that lately. Gegard's an up and comer with a solid record against people not on Cat Ballou's level. I was (and will be) looking for "The Dreamcatcher" to take the next step in competition by putting Sobral down like a clown. With a frown.
-Mousasi by KO due to headkick, Rd 2


Vitor Belfort (1-0 vs my heart) vs. Jorge Santiago (1-0 vs a guy named LaVerne)
Soooooo... I'll admit to having a bit of a man-crush on Mr. Belfort. He was one of my favorite fighters in the early days, so it warms my heart to see him look as dominating as ever. He's mostly lost to "names" though, which means he needs to step it up. A devastating KO against an exciting journeyman like Santiago should've put him right on the cusp of where he needs to be for a title somewhere. I'd would have expected an exciting battle, but I also heart Vitor Belfort.
-Belfort by knuckle sammiches, Rd 2

Gilbert Yvel (undefeated vs. refs) vs. Paul Buentello (1-0 vs Tank Abbot... in 2007)
Two guys with a poop-ton of striking stoppages between them... could have been a fight filled with "fistic" (please look up that word and tell me it's not real) fireworks. More likely they would have worn each other out. Not really sure why this fight is on the main card, while Rothwell, Heiron, Horodecki, and Lauzon aren't. Maybe too much salary here? Maybe another reason why Affliction ran out of money? Who knows... anywho. Punches. Punches. Punches. You get the idea.
-Yvel by decision, Rd 2

Takanori Gomi (0-0 vs. stoners) vs. Rafaello Oliveria (0-1 vs Wikipedia)
Look, I'll be the first to admit that I know close to nothing about the Japanese MMA scene. But I do know Gomi. So suck it!
-Gomi by fireball, kid!, Rd 2

PS. Thank you for sending Ben Rothwell to the UFC. He's probably the best heavyweight that no one seems to care about. This is where he belongs. Do I think he can beat Brock? Not yet... but I do think he makes for some compelling match-ups, especially for the UFC's "new HW guard".

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